Dear Doc. Rock,
My boyfriend is going to a bachelor party and they are going to be going to strip clubs. I trust him, I really do, but it makes me nervous what his friends might do and rope him into. It makes me self-conscious because I know I don't look like anything like those women. It also bothers me to think if he is going to be thinking about those women when we are getting intimate. As well as he complains about money, yet its ok to throw away hard earned money on some stranger with no shirt? What is your perspective, from a guys stand point, on strip clubs. Do they go there to get their kicks? Or is it just a thing guys do and have no emotional attachment to? Signed, Miss Mixed Feelings a.k.a. AAAHHHHH
Dear Mixed Feelings,
I think what you're feeling is totally natural, but what you also have to realize is that bachelor/bachelorette parties are intended to be a crazy, last-ditch effort to be a crazy-ass before settling down. Strip clubs aren't meant to be taken seriously and if you trust him as much as you say you do, you wouldn't doubt him.
I'm sure there are many reasons he's in a relationship with you and not with a stripper. He values you and chances are he's already looked at porn on the internet and that hasn't deterred him from being any less intimate or in love with you. I think every once in a while people (yes women do it to...) may fantasize about another person while they're having sex (I'M NOT SAYING EVERYONE DOES IT) however, it doesn't matter unless it begins to interfere with your relationship.
As far as the spending money issue...that I don't agree with, but again, also understand it's his buddy's bachelor party, he probably feels uncomfortable saying something like "No I can't go because I'm broke." Chances are he probably isn't spending as much as you think he is.
What it basically comes down to is, don't sweat it. He loves you, you trust him and at the end of the day he comes home to you not some girl at a strip club.
Rest Easy My Friend!,
p.s. In case you were wondering, I don't patronize strip clubs. In my opinion they're degrading and the people ripping their clothes off to expose plastic bodies don't appeal to me nearly as much as ones with class.