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Ask Doc Rock | Coming to Terms with Coming Out

Dear Doc. Rock, So recently I have been thinking about coming out. 

Yes, THE coming out. 

I was going to start with my GSA, they're like family. (I'm just an ally to them) which I'm fine with. But this whole thing is new to me. 


Recently I just started thinking "well maybe I really am gay." I've always just ignored it... But anyway, I was thinking my GSA would be a good place to start. 

But there is this kid that recently started coming, and he's in all my classes and he also lives in the same dorm building as me. I really don't feel comfortable with him knowing. I don't particularly trust this boy. And the last thing I want is for him to know something like this when I'm not ready to share it with EVERYONE. I have a good feeling he would tell someone. So I'm not really sure what to do. Please help. Sincerely, The gay and confused

Dear Confused,

Coming out is really a huge landmark decision. It's an extremely personal process and it takes courage, strength, and patience. Understand that while we do live in a society that has come so far in acceptance of different sexualities, religions, and races that there is still hate in this world and some of that comes from fear. While many of us are accepting, it's not universal.

The best thing I can tell you is if you're really unsure about how you feel about coming out as a whole, is to start small. Share with your closest friends and family members first and go from there. The last thing you want is to have someone air something this intimate with everyone before you get to, but it happens. As far as this guy you're speaking of goes, if you really feel uncomfortable with him knowing, then maybe you can talk to a few of the GSA members privately and get their guidance and counsel first. GSA was created in colleges and high schools as a resource to people in your situation or for people who aren't even LGBT, but support the movement for equality and would like to know more. I wish you the best! Keep me updated! Rock

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