Ask Doc Rock | Friends: Quality > Quantity
Updated: Apr 11, 2022
Dear Doc. Rock, So I have this friend who is having issues with friendships/ making friends.
She shared this issue with one of our friends and my friend told her she won't make it through high school because she is lacking friends, and that really broke her spirit.
She has been crying every night due to this issue. She even made up a list of people she use to be friends with but not anymore (she came ups with 30 names). She's like cutting herself but not physically, emotionally. I keep telling her she has me and 2 other people but that doesn't seem content with her. I keep telling her to stop thinking about it because it just keeps hurting her feelings, but she won't listen. I don't know what else to do. I don't know what to say because she is quite fragile. HELP. -- Friend To A Socially Awkward Girl
First of all, this friend of yours should take stock in the friends she currently holds close.
You're a great friend for encouraging her to be happy with the friends she has who support and love her. It can be tough for anyone to feel like they don't have friends, it's even worse for someone in high school where the pressure is even more intense to "fit in".
If I could, I would approach your other friend for emphasizing a negative thought like "You'll never make it through high school without friends"...in my opinion, your friend should "ditch a bitch".
What your friend can do to start making new friends is start hanging around with classmates she doesn't really know! Compliment people on their appearance (EVERYONE loves that). The only way to make new friends is to put yourself out on a limb. Taking a risk involves courage but a good motivator is imagining how her circle of friends can expand! She should never be afraid to introduce herself and in the event that someone doesn't reciprocate her enthusiasm, she needs to understand it's not her that has the problem, it's the other person.
No one can be liked by everyone, right?
You can help her out by inviting her to different events with you (football games, parties etc...) Your friend might also benefit from joining a new club at school! There's always something for everyone! Whatever you do, don't give up on her. She might say "no" a lot in the beginning - she will appreciate you always thinking of her. Don't let her get herself down, you're a great friend for trying to help her as much as possible and I hope she realizes this. Be with her every step of the way and it'll help her open up more! Remember that high school is just a short four years of your life. It's not the real world. After you graduate the world opens up to you and people find their place and the people they like to surround themselves with. Here's to meeting new people :) Rock