Ask Doc Rock | Oversexed and Not Feelin' It
Dear Doc Rock,
I'm seeing this guy and I really like him.
We get along great and love being around each other. There's only one problem: every single time we hangout he tries to hook up with me. I mean, don't get me wrong ,he's a great looking guy and our sex life is fantastic.
However, sometimes it's a little much. We mostly hangout at night which is probably why this happens. I dislike it so much that sometimes I avoid seeing him. I've tried the whole "If I come over can it be strictly hanging out" thing, and it's never worked. I just don't want something so stupid to make me not want to be with him ya know? What should I do? Sincerely,
While you feel this is a stupid problem, it isn't. Our feelings are ALWAYS valid.
Think about what you said to me: you've brought it to his attention that you don't want it to be like that, it causes you to avoid him, and you're making up excuses as to why it "might" happen all the time and still, it happens.
The real reason doesn't lay with the time of day or anything like that. It comes down to whether he is really invested in this relationship. To me, although you're happy, ask yourself why he is "good" to you? Is it so if he wants to hookup you'll say yes because he's good to you? Don't settle for that. Do you go on actual dates? Movies, Dinner, Walks? A relationship based on sex isn't a relationship at all and if you can't spend time together without him mentioning sex or anything of the sort, then I would just walk away because he just wants to get it in and you sound like someone who wants, and deserves, more than that.
Of course, the decision is always yours. Decide what's most important to you and exactly what you want out of this relationship and future ones! Good Luck,