Updated: Apr 11, 2022
Dear Doc Rock,
I had the most traumatic experience yesterday. After a very dramatic start to my day and my father falling into a seizure while out shopping with my mother, we found out he has an illness that can be treated with meds, but never cured. I've always been the rock of my family and I held it together when we found out, but once I saw my father crying, I fell apart. So my question is how do you deal with hearing the hardest thing possible? Sincerely, Daddy's Girl
Dear Daddy's Girl,
I can completely relate to you when it comes to being the rock for the people in your life. I have been, and probably always will be, the support for many people in my life and you know what? I'm glad.
It takes a very special and emotionally resilient person to be the one everyone leans on for support or looks to for advice, or keep a cool head during times of stress or chaos. So I give you huge props for that because I know it isn't easy.
When it comes to having to hear and deal with bad news or anything negative in general, I always do a couple things:
First off, I think of how the person telling me is affected by this news because ultimately, your response needs to be appropriate for their emotions.
I also consider the other people involved and how they must be feeling and how it affects them.
Next, I try to talk to them the way I would want to be spoken to in their situation and understand at the same time that most people are not emotionally strong as I am.
All too often we get caught up in the drama of things that we forget that what we just heard doesn't really have much to do with us as it does other people. We tend to be selfish. It's a rarity and a necessity that we be selfless in these situations.
So ultimately, my answer to your question"How do you deal with hearing the hardest thing possible?" would be "The way I deal with everything else...Positivity and support. That's the best way to deal with anything."
Good luck with everything and my prayers are with you and your family.