Updated: Apr 12
Dear Doc. Rock,
I have been dating this guy for almost a year and a half and he's the man of my dreams. He was a little odd at first but the more I got to know him the more I fell in love with his "quirkiness”.
With the pandemic lightening up, you see everyone getting engaged and/or married. We spoke about what we wanted for my birthday and like most women I said jewelry.
Is it wrong to hope for some sort of ring whether, promise or engagement, or is it too soon?
Wishing for a Ring
It’s really great to read about your happiness. I feel like your desire to take things to a deeper level is a normal progression in a relationship. At the same time, there is no rhyme or reason with regards to the time it takes to get there.
One of the most beautiful things about relationships is that they’re about two seemingly different people who come together to form something complementary and special. I mention that because it’s important to remember that while you’re ready and hoping your partner will pop the question, he may not be there yet and it doesn’t necessarily mean he loves you any less. I always encourage others to try and see things from another person’s perspective in the same situation. When we attempt to look through someone else’s eyes, we are forced to acknowledge we will never truly be able to know how they feel or predict what they’ll do. Instead, we need to focus on our behaviors, our thoughts, and our feelings because they are the only things we know for sure.
With that, I’ll leave you to think about why you are hoping he will propose or present you with a promise ring. Are you placing emphasis on a physical object as a testament to the strength of your relationship? Do you think others expect you to be engaged by now and are you letting that drive your want? What does a ring mean to you?
Ultimately, we can discover the true drivers of our feelings if we ask ourselves “What am I feeling?,” followed by, “Why?”.
I wish you the best in your relationship and beyond!